Yeah, I was THAT mom...

...with a screaming toddler in the grocery store. 

I so desperately wanted to NEVER be "that mom".  But it happened.  Every logical part of me kept saying, "drop the cart off at the customer service desk and get the f*ck out of here!" But I didn't.  Why?  Because I only had three things left to get.  Three things.

It all started like every other weekly grocery trip we make. We got our cart and went straight to the "snack" section, picked out a box of graham cracker sticks, and then started our shopping trip with the child blissfully snacking away on his treats.  We had made it through the produce, meat, and canned goods with no incident.  But as we rounded the corner to household items and dairy that's when all hell broke loose. 

Otter kept trying to stand up in his seat, despite the fact that he was buckled in, which prompted high pitched screeches of dissatisfaction.  Fine. I decided that since he was a toddler and can walk, now, that he'd follow me through the store like an obedient puppy.  Wrong- I'm a freaking idiot.  He immediately high-tailed it in the opposite direction being as cute as can be while attracting every sweet old lady he could find.  I scooped him back up and tried distracting him with some $6 die-cast car that I had zero intention of buying.  That didn't work so, I showed him that he could help push the cart.  BINGO!  He was amazed at his super-human strength and proceeded to push with all his might.  This was awesome. 

We made it to the milk cooler and I tried to swiftly remove a gallon of milk without letting go or losing control of the cart. Yeah, not so easy.  *Crash*  Yep, that was Super OtterMan pushing the cart into the other section of the milk cooler.  By this point, he's used up all of his super powers is and totally done pushing the cart and proceeds to throw himself onto the super market floor and wallow in his misery while inducing headaches for by-passers.  Embarrassed I scoop him up and think "Omg...let's go" when I look at my list and realize I need only a few more things.  So I try to push my heavy cart with on hand and contain my flailing toddler with the other.  I'm sure I looked like a hot mess.

Anyways, we made it to the cash register and I had to still contain said toddler and try to put my groceries up on the belt.  Not fun.  We finished things up.  I left the store sweating, which, in my opinion, shouldn't happen while grocery shopping, but I'm hoping they've seen worse.  I really don't want to know if they haven't.

So, needless to say, I need to figure out how to entertain Otter while shopping if this is going to keep happening.  And, putting him in his car seat when we finally got to the car is episode enough for a whole new blog post- but I'll save you that embarrassment.

Oh, and I learned this morning, after already getting to work, that not even a wet wipe and lint roller will remove dried on apple sauce from a black sweater. 

Otter=1 Me=0.

So, that was Christmas?!

OH.EM.GEE...so, that was Christmas?  Wow, we're exhausted...and sick. I don't even feel like Christmas even happened.  Sure, we opened a ton (too many- mom!) gifts and saw nearly every family member.  But each of our visits were extremely brief.  I feel like we spent more time in the car than we did with our families.  And on top of it all, there was not a single snow flake to be seen. 

On the bright side, Otter and his cousin, who is 5 months his senior, got to "play" together, finally.  When I say play, I really mean they were excited to see each other and then they started fighting.  Not horribly, but there was definitely some rivalry between them.  Otter became pretty protective of his toys and even pushed her once or twice.  I don't know if it's because she's a girl or if it's because she's smaller than him (she's a teeny tiny little doll :) ) but he wasn't going to let her do anything he didn't want her to do.  I've never seen him act like that.  I know they are toddlers, but I couldn't helped be a little embarrassed  frustrated by his actions toward her.  I'll have to figure out how to work on that.  Any advice (yes, this question is going out to my whopping TWO followers)?

We received many wonderful gifts.  Once again, my brother, "Uncle Allstate" knocked it out of the park with this Vetech kitchen and embroidered chef coat. Otter loves anything and everything kitchen related.  Otter's biggest gift fail was from me and doc.  He got a grill, per the reason just stated, but this thing is janky.  It took me a bajillion years (and some sore muscles the next day) to put it together and I'm really not impressed with the quality or the entertainment factor.  Sure, Otter likes to open and close the lid and doors, but there isn't much else for him to do with it. 

I think my family is really wanting everyone to get into the kitchen and cook...a lot of our gifts were geared toward the kitchen (or play kitchen).  I was really excited to receive the No Whine with Dinner cook book by the Meal Makeover Moms that I had my eye on.  I haven't had a lot of time to flip through it, but I did read through the 50 tips in the back to get your kids to eat.  LOVE THEM.  I can't wait to get my meals planned out for this next week.

Anyways, we are back home and trying to recuperate.  Doc is sick.  Like really sick, so we are happy to not have any huge plans for New Years. I hope you and yours had a wonderful holiday and are all home and safe.  If you had any huge gift hits or flops, please feel free to comment and tell me about them!

It's not Christmas unless someone poops on the floor

Yeah, it's not really Christmas unless someone (not an animal) poops on the floor.  It doesn't happen every year, but I seem to remember that my most favorite (recent) Christmases involved someone pooping on the floor.

This year it happened to be my kid that pooped on the floor.  Since we have to travel for Christmas, I decided, since Otter was young enough that he'd never know the difference, we'd open our gifts the weekend before Christmas so that he could play and we didn't have to worry about transporting our gifts.  Santa understood and obliged to come early. 

Anyways, after a morning of opening gifts and reindeer pancakes, Otter happily took a bath and after getting out of the bath toddled out to his new toys while I gathered a diaper and some clothes for the day.  In a matter of minutes (seriously, two minutes MAX) he had pooped and peed on the living room floor. Honestly, he looked pretty damn impressed with him self when I shrieked in horror. I, my friends, was not impressed, I didn't know what to do.  Obviously it needed cleaned up, but was I to reprimand him? Rub his nose in it like a puppy (c'mon, do you SERIOUSLY think I'd do that!?!).  No, I didn't reprimand him, it was my fault for leaving him bare butt to roam free around his domain.  I did raise my voice once to startle him before he stepped in it.  But we all survived...I with a mental picture that will last a life time and a good prom night story.  Sorry buddy, you don't really think I'll let you live this down do you?

My niece did something similar a few years ago while she was potty training.  The entire family was sitting around my sister-in-law's living room talking and playing with gifts when we noticed that she was missing.  I spotted her behind the tree squatting.  Her parents asked her what she was doing but she wouldn't respond.  So her dad walked around to check on her and promptly returned laughing hysterically.  She had quickly became "your daughter" to my sister-in-law.  We all giggled and she (my niece) was rightfully embarrassed.  And knowing her father, I am sure this will be a prom night story for her, too.

Back to our Christmas, it was nice.  I was super pumped because this was Otter's first semi-coherent Christmas.  He gets how to open gifts and such now.  And since I'm not trying to convince you that I'm super woman, I'll admit that the sugar free peanut butter cookies I made for Santa sucked.  Like really bad, sucked.  But I do adore the reindeer pancakes we had that morning.

Simply make 1 large pancake for the head, a medium pancake for the face, and 2 smaller ones for the ears. Bacon (turkey bacon in our case) for the antlers and your favorite berries (we used blackberries, but if you want a Rudolph use a strawberry or raspberry) for the nose and eyes.  Enjoy!

Silly, Silly ME!

I can't help it, this opening post is going to be cliche as hell. But if you are ever going to get to know me I guess, I should just introduce myself and get it over with.

I'm Jen, the Silly Times Mom, of "Otter", my 1-year old toddler.  I'm happily married to "Doc" who is not really a doctor, yet. And never will be in the medical sense. I'm a full-time mom with a full-time career working out of the home.  I'm not quite sure how I fit it all in.  But above all, I'm dead set on having a silly time.  Okay, enough with the word "silly".  We just like to have fun, okay?   

The purpose of this blog, for me at least, is to document my child's life and all of the fun, crazy, and educational activities we do.  Basically, when my son is 18, I want him to have this blog as evidence that I did, indeed, "try".   

There will be moments where you think, "what was she thinking?!" and others where you are totally jealous- I'm kidding...thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's things, right?  But, if you like the ideas, use them.  Maybe tell your friends where you found them, though. So, really, I may not always be productive or cohesive, I just want to feed my need to be a fun good mom (and document and share it) and to rekindle my love for writing.  I was an English major, by the way (double major in sociology).

I hope you enjoy!  Let's make some memories, folks!