NO!

“No! Mommy!” and “No, Mommy!” have become very regular phrases in our household. But they are driving me bat-crap crazy, as I mentioned in my last post. Accompanied with aggression towards Daddy and it is the biggest headache, EVER. Although, I have been reassured that this is very normal for a two year old, it didn’t ease my concern at all.

It all started when our Buzz kitty died.  Right after, Otter started screaming and pushing away Doc when he’d get home from work. Of course, after a long day, this hurt his feelings.  Otter just wanted me and me only (C’mon, kid! Can’t you see I’m cooking?!). After doing some reading online Doc explained that is normal and that the burden is on me to redirect Otter to show affection to his Daddy, again. So, I would show more affection to Doc and encourage Otter to do the same.  I’d have talks with Otter to explain to him how awesome Daddy is and that he can help him do anything that I can do, too. But, I think the biggest thing to redirect Otter was several events or evenings alone with Doc. He’s doing much better, now.  When Doc gets home he’ll occasionally shy away or try to push his daddy away but he is much more willing to go play with him while I cook dinner rather than attaching himself to me. But we are still working on the telling us “no” part.

This, to me, is humiliating. Normal but humiliating. There is nothing are few things worse than standing in the middle of Target and asking your child to stand up or stay with mommy and have him shout “No!” back at you. I can just feel the stares of disapproving strangers who think he’s probably nothing more than a snot-nosed brat who gets away with misbehaving (and there’s me who’s thinking “Are you kidding me, Kid?”). Not true. My little boy is sweet and caring. He just so happens to be testing his language and boundaries.  After fighting my initial urge of yelling, “NO! Don’t use that word with Mommy” I calmly get on his level, repeat my request and help him follow through. Let’s face it, telling a toddler “no” to get him to stop saying “no” really isn’t going to help things and it’s probably going to confuse it.  Sure, this tactic doesn’t always work and I often find myself wanting to wallow around on the floor with him, crying, because neither of us are understanding each other in that moment, but I pick us both up and head out of the store.

I know this is going to continue being an uphill battle.  What will probably happen is we will head out for the holidays with a nice, sweet boy who doesn’t use the naughty “no” and once we reach the grandparent’s houses “no” will appear again in the vocabulary, making us both look like wretched parents. But we love him!

Anways, we went and saw Santa and Mrs. Clause. Otter was pretty excited and even pulled me by the hand to go see them.  Now that I think of it, I don’t think Otter asked for anything. It’s a good thing we can tell Chip, our Elf on the Shelf, what he’d like for Christmas!

Don't you be a turkey

Hey there!  I hope that you all had a great Thanksgiving!  This is the first year in a quite a long time that we didn’t travel. Papaw visited and I prepared my first ever Thanksgiving feast. We had a good day.  Otter really enjoyed a visit from Papaw and is still taking about it several days later.

We also had a visit from a special Elf on the Shelf named Chip- as in Chocolate Chip.  The elf has been up to a few shenanigans. Otter doesn’t quite understand WHY Chip is here but he welcomes his company all the same.  I’ll post a few sneak peak photos, but will follow up the Christmas season with all the Chip has done.

We did our first Holiday related events, picked up our very first live Christmas tree which was promptly decorated.  Otter was really in to it.  However, he was having troubles placing the ornaments on the tree so he had a really good time handing me ornaments to put on the tree. We then went to a quick and chilly Fire Truck parade in a nearby village.  Otter loves fire trucks and was pretty thrilled by the experience, but if you asked him if he saw trucks or Santa, he will tell you “no”.

That leads me to the terrible two’s we are dealing with. Otter, has taken to telling us “no” always. This is incredibly frustrating. I understand that this is normal phase of a two year old, but Doc and I can’t help but be irritated when we ask our son to pick up his shoes and he yells “no” with a smile on his face. This, usually, leads to a time out because even when I offer another opportunity to do what we’ve asked he doesn’t budge and uses the naughty word, again. Seriously frustrating. Why do toddlers have to be so stubborn?!

Anyways, any suggestions on how to deal with phase would be openly welcomed.  We’ve got a nice weekend planned with a visit to Santa and maybe Otter will make a few Christmas presents for some of his grandparents.

The tree-partially decorated.

Chip with his milk and cookies

Chip in the tree

Dealing with Death

Wow, it’s been a really long time.  I bet you didn’t think I was even coming back. But, I did. 

A lot has changed since I last blogged to you about my crazy life as a mother. We have moved across the country to New England!  Yay!  It’s beautiful here.  Our little town seemed to survive Superstorm Sandy just fine.  But my thoughts are with those who are still recovering and rebuilding. Doc and I have new jobs, obviously, since we left the mid-west. And we bought a big OLD colonial home that we are trying to morph into our dream home.  Doc has come in handy in that aspect.  I don’t know how I managed to marry such a multi-talented man, but he’s doing a damn good job on the house.

Sadly, my first post back is going to touch a sad subject and something that we’ve recently had to deal with recently- death.  Otter, about 4 weeks ago, was given a kitten that we named Buzz. Sweet little orange tabby cat who somehow managed to survive everything our 2 year old had to offer. However, Buzz got out of the house the other night while I was making a trip out to the garage to get something. My hands were full when I got back to the house and I wasn’t able to scoop him up.  When I returned, I couldn’t find him.  He had always stuck close to the house and usually danced around when I called for him.  So, Otter and I donned our coats and shoes, grabbed a flashlight and went looking for him.  We looked for a while and then I finally heard a weak mew from under our front porch. Buzz stuck his sleepy little head out and I snatched him up to carry him inside. 

It wasn’t until in the light of our home that I could see that Buzz was a mess.  He looked filthy and Doc said he just didn’t look right.  Upon further investigation, Buzz had some major wounds to the underside of his little body and I rushed him to the nearest emergency vet 30 minutes away. After meeting with the vet and discussing the treatment options, costs, and outcomes it was decided that Buzz was to be put to sleep.  It wasn’t an easy decision and one of my first thoughts was of what Otter would do/think when he realized Buzz was gone.  The two of them were inseparable.  

Before I had left to take Buzz to the vet, knowing that this outcome was possible, Otter said “bye-bye” to Buzz and Doc explained Buzz had lots of ouchies. This, it seemed, was our saving grace.  The next morning when Otter woke up and asked for Buzz, tears immediately filled my eyes and I choked on the words as I explained to Otter that Buzz had ouchies and had to go bye-bye. I told Otter that Buzz loved him very much. I grappled with how to explain this to Otter. Did I tell him Buzz went to a special farm, that he’s gone, or that he died?  What words do you use to explain to a 2-year-old that their kitty is gone? 

Well, I’ll tell you that Otter has accepted Buzz’s leaving with amazing grace and resilience. “Bye-bye” seemed to be a good choice of words for him.  He will still say “Buzz go bye-bye” as a statement but a little later will ask if “Daddy go bye-bye” or if Emma (our dog) went bye-bye.  And I explain to him that, no, Daddy is at work and Emma is in the house. Then he will correct himself and say Buzz had ouchies and had to go bye-bye.  Sure, he probably doesn’t understand that Buzz is never coming back and he definitely doesn’t understand what death is, but we approached it in the manner that we did and Otter seems to have handled it well.

As parents, it’s always tough to approach serious topics with our kids and we worry about doing it in an age appropriate matter. How have you handled sensitive issues, like death, with your children?

Oh, and I promise, we have much more light hearted posts coming.  I mean, we have an Elf coming to live with us for the next month. What could be more fun than that?!

Bye Buzz Kitty, we will miss you!