Yeah, I was THAT mom...

...with a screaming toddler in the grocery store. 

I so desperately wanted to NEVER be "that mom".  But it happened.  Every logical part of me kept saying, "drop the cart off at the customer service desk and get the f*ck out of here!" But I didn't.  Why?  Because I only had three things left to get.  Three things.

It all started like every other weekly grocery trip we make. We got our cart and went straight to the "snack" section, picked out a box of graham cracker sticks, and then started our shopping trip with the child blissfully snacking away on his treats.  We had made it through the produce, meat, and canned goods with no incident.  But as we rounded the corner to household items and dairy that's when all hell broke loose. 

Otter kept trying to stand up in his seat, despite the fact that he was buckled in, which prompted high pitched screeches of dissatisfaction.  Fine. I decided that since he was a toddler and can walk, now, that he'd follow me through the store like an obedient puppy.  Wrong- I'm a freaking idiot.  He immediately high-tailed it in the opposite direction being as cute as can be while attracting every sweet old lady he could find.  I scooped him back up and tried distracting him with some $6 die-cast car that I had zero intention of buying.  That didn't work so, I showed him that he could help push the cart.  BINGO!  He was amazed at his super-human strength and proceeded to push with all his might.  This was awesome. 

We made it to the milk cooler and I tried to swiftly remove a gallon of milk without letting go or losing control of the cart. Yeah, not so easy.  *Crash*  Yep, that was Super OtterMan pushing the cart into the other section of the milk cooler.  By this point, he's used up all of his super powers is and totally done pushing the cart and proceeds to throw himself onto the super market floor and wallow in his misery while inducing headaches for by-passers.  Embarrassed I scoop him up and think "Omg...let's go" when I look at my list and realize I need only a few more things.  So I try to push my heavy cart with on hand and contain my flailing toddler with the other.  I'm sure I looked like a hot mess.

Anyways, we made it to the cash register and I had to still contain said toddler and try to put my groceries up on the belt.  Not fun.  We finished things up.  I left the store sweating, which, in my opinion, shouldn't happen while grocery shopping, but I'm hoping they've seen worse.  I really don't want to know if they haven't.

So, needless to say, I need to figure out how to entertain Otter while shopping if this is going to keep happening.  And, putting him in his car seat when we finally got to the car is episode enough for a whole new blog post- but I'll save you that embarrassment.

Oh, and I learned this morning, after already getting to work, that not even a wet wipe and lint roller will remove dried on apple sauce from a black sweater. 

Otter=1 Me=0.